The day I realized. "I am missing the joy of my children’s lives."

It hit me so hard I said it out loud to an empty room. “I am missing the joy of my children’s lives.” I stood frozen over the kitchen sink where I had been preparing vegetables for supper. Earlier in the day I had received a call from my daughter and I was smiling as I reflected on her good news and at her career success. I thought about how both of my kids had started their careers at the bottom. They had worked hard to progress very quickly in thier carrers. And how both families were happy and healthy. I felt so much joy and happiness in that moment. Grateful for the many gifts in my life. In the next breath and split second my joy was stripped away. Panic flooded me. In that moment I ju

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